Do I block it out? Do I fight what I know I can't conquer? Where the hell do I go from here?
You know what I love about the Rockies? They embody my blog. Truly. Right before the beginning of the season, in an exhibition game against the Seattle Mariners, they pulled it all out. They were down something like 11-5 and they came back to tie it. The best part? They were rookies. The pitcher had been sent back down to triple A just a few days before, and he knew he was facing an incredible team, some argue the best in AL West. They just fought. And fought. And fought. They didn't win, though. That's the part that I struggle with.
What happens when I fight and fight and fight and fight and I don't win? Cliche: go fight some more! No. I can't. It's over and done and I've lost. So I accept it. And move on.
Courage is not a lion, roaring and bearing his ferocity. Courage is that small voice at the end of the day telling you, "I will try again tomorrow." That quote, or some variation of it that I can't remember, is on Parm (my choir director's) door. Life is seriously going to punch you in the face over and over and over again. And then when you get back up, it's going to kick you down again. It's inevitable. But it is your duty to drop kick it right back. Will you let life push you along or will you travel your own speed?
This past year has been unbelievably hard. We've lost 5 warriors. Granted, I've only known three, each loss has been like a shot to the heart. Three of the five were suicides, and another one of my friends is incredibly suicidal at the moment. I don't understand it. This is the ultimate end of perserverance. Suicide is not a success. It breaks my heart. But, with each death, as with every challenge in my life, every moment of adversity, I need to fight on.
Fight on.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Turning feelings into an essay...
Ralph Waldo Emerson addresses the concept of adversity in his quote, "We acquire the strength we have overcome." In many works of literature, characters face some type of adversity, often creating the climax of the work. Using novels, plays or other major works of literature, discuss what, in the face of adversity, causes some to succeed while others fail.
How odd, to create an essay out of my life question. Just recently, for "Cinderella" in which I play a stepsister, we have encountered what is known as "Hell Week". Sure, it may be hell, going through an entire day of school, picking up a regular homework load, and then going to rehearsal until 9 every night. Of course for me, I love to be busy, and so the homework doesn't scare me. It's the work, the resolve I must have. It's exhausting. I wrote what has become the most important 5-letter word in my life on my wrist. "Fight". I'll fight through losing my voice all week long. I'll fight through the mistakes I'll make onstage. I'll fight for it. Why? Because that's what I do.
How odd, to create an essay out of my life question. Just recently, for "Cinderella" in which I play a stepsister, we have encountered what is known as "Hell Week". Sure, it may be hell, going through an entire day of school, picking up a regular homework load, and then going to rehearsal until 9 every night. Of course for me, I love to be busy, and so the homework doesn't scare me. It's the work, the resolve I must have. It's exhausting. I wrote what has become the most important 5-letter word in my life on my wrist. "Fight". I'll fight through losing my voice all week long. I'll fight through the mistakes I'll make onstage. I'll fight for it. Why? Because that's what I do.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Beloved
What makes some succeed while others fail?
Sethe believes she is finding solace and comfort away from Paul D in the discovery of the ghost of her daughter, Beloved. It is, however, in Beloved that Sethe finds her potential downfall. She is overtaken, overworked, overpowered by this girl, entirely helpless. Her past is haunting her no longer figuratively and in her memories, but directly through the torments of Beloved. It is not until Denver makes this realization and seeks outside help that Sethe is saved. Denver has never left the comforts of her own home, and so she breaks through her personal barrier in order to save another. Once through the physical barrier of her yard, she breaks through the barrier of community and asks for help. It is the assembly of women at 124 that eventually "banish" Beloved forever. Sethe succeeds only because others tried for her. Denver put her mother, who she formerly found annoying, in front of her own interests, and found something much more rewarding. Selflessness seems to be the key in this book.
Sethe believes she is finding solace and comfort away from Paul D in the discovery of the ghost of her daughter, Beloved. It is, however, in Beloved that Sethe finds her potential downfall. She is overtaken, overworked, overpowered by this girl, entirely helpless. Her past is haunting her no longer figuratively and in her memories, but directly through the torments of Beloved. It is not until Denver makes this realization and seeks outside help that Sethe is saved. Denver has never left the comforts of her own home, and so she breaks through her personal barrier in order to save another. Once through the physical barrier of her yard, she breaks through the barrier of community and asks for help. It is the assembly of women at 124 that eventually "banish" Beloved forever. Sethe succeeds only because others tried for her. Denver put her mother, who she formerly found annoying, in front of her own interests, and found something much more rewarding. Selflessness seems to be the key in this book.
Monday, February 1, 2010
L'Etranger
What I've taken most out of our discussions of this book is the concept of honesty. In order to succeed in this society, you have to share those little white lies. There's a certain etiquette required to be "normal" and usually success happens to those who are "normal" with a touch of crazy. To be wildly successful, you have to be able to fit in with the normal crowd, but have that extra touch of insanity. Meresault was not normal, didn't tell those lies, and gave everyone the brutal honesty- for this he was put to death. It does make a difference that he believed he was successful: "I had been right, I was still right, I will always be right." I believe that in order to be successful, you must be viewed by others as successful. Meresault didn't share that conviction, and essentially didn't care what others thought of him. So perhaps in order to be successful, you must first determine what success means to you. If you agree with my working definition, you will follow the rules with a hint of spice.
Monday, January 18, 2010
A Bug's Life?
Let's be honest: even after days of discussion in class over The Metamorphosis by Kafka, I still don't fully understand it. And I don't think I ever will. I wish I could read this allegory and immediately think, "Why yes, this is a perfect model of the de-humanization of industrialization" while I just thought, "Why is this man a bug?" So, in relation to my question, Gregor does not overcome adversity, but his family does. I think the difference that is made for the family is when the person that they were relying on was taken out of their lives. When their comfort was eliminated, they found that it was their time to step up to the challenge and accept life in that spirit. All along they could have succeeded, but it wasn't until they did it for themselves that they found they could.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
First Semester Findings
Here are my points compiled:
1) You have to find a place of honesty and consider not only yourself, but everyone. Every action you take impacts another person in some way, however small.
2) Good intentions will theoretically lead to a good outcome. Moreso, humility is the key.
3) Be vulnerable, expose yourself and your desire.
4) Even if the odds are stacked against you, run for it. Visualize yourself winning and that picture will motivate you.
5) Everyone can have good intentions, but winners have good actions.
6) Appreciate adversity for what it is, love every minute of it, and dedicate yourself to it.
7) Push yourself to a deeper understanding of everything, even the losing side.
1) You have to find a place of honesty and consider not only yourself, but everyone. Every action you take impacts another person in some way, however small.
2) Good intentions will theoretically lead to a good outcome. Moreso, humility is the key.
3) Be vulnerable, expose yourself and your desire.
4) Even if the odds are stacked against you, run for it. Visualize yourself winning and that picture will motivate you.
5) Everyone can have good intentions, but winners have good actions.
6) Appreciate adversity for what it is, love every minute of it, and dedicate yourself to it.
7) Push yourself to a deeper understanding of everything, even the losing side.
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Woman
How do I even begin to wrap my head around this book? I spent forty-five minutes in the kitchen with my parents the other night reading pages 200-210 and discussing them at length. Needless to say, this book is wonderfullly thought-provoking.
I can't really decide at this point, however, whether or not Stephen has failed or succeeded. In society and in the church, it is failure but to himself it seems to be a different case. He has overcome that which had been holding him back. I really admire in him the fact that he really tried to submerse himself in the life he did not appreciate, the church. I think that gave him an edge as he had deeply experienced it all and now had a legitimate reason to argue against it. It reminds me of election season. Everyone runs around proclaiming their views, when in reality few have taken the time to see the other side. You must "walk a mile in their shoes" in order to truly understand why you believe what you believe. This reminds me of a point of Stephen's, in talking about art with Lynch. He says "Truth is beheld by the intellect which is appeased by the most satisfying relations of the intelligible" (202). This quote means people will believe what sounds pleasing to them and happens to conveniently make sense. I think that's why Stephen succeeds, because he notices these specific aspects of life and understands that "the first step in the direction of truth is to understand the frame and scope of the intellect itself, to comprehend the act itself of intellection" (202). He knows that in order to know anything, he must know how to know, put simply. He searches for such a deeper understanding in everything in life. Sometimes, this may put him at a disadvantage- he may know too much. But I believe it gives him an edge above everyone else that has not taken the time to consider such ideas.
I can't really decide at this point, however, whether or not Stephen has failed or succeeded. In society and in the church, it is failure but to himself it seems to be a different case. He has overcome that which had been holding him back. I really admire in him the fact that he really tried to submerse himself in the life he did not appreciate, the church. I think that gave him an edge as he had deeply experienced it all and now had a legitimate reason to argue against it. It reminds me of election season. Everyone runs around proclaiming their views, when in reality few have taken the time to see the other side. You must "walk a mile in their shoes" in order to truly understand why you believe what you believe. This reminds me of a point of Stephen's, in talking about art with Lynch. He says "Truth is beheld by the intellect which is appeased by the most satisfying relations of the intelligible" (202). This quote means people will believe what sounds pleasing to them and happens to conveniently make sense. I think that's why Stephen succeeds, because he notices these specific aspects of life and understands that "the first step in the direction of truth is to understand the frame and scope of the intellect itself, to comprehend the act itself of intellection" (202). He knows that in order to know anything, he must know how to know, put simply. He searches for such a deeper understanding in everything in life. Sometimes, this may put him at a disadvantage- he may know too much. But I believe it gives him an edge above everyone else that has not taken the time to consider such ideas.
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